We advocates of free software don't have many friends, particularly among those fine people that would likely be our nearest and dearest save for that one fatal point of contention; we "get" open-source, free software, the importance of not only supporting this vital and progressive movement but actually learning to use the damn stuff. Our good neighbors "get" only what they pay for, and not many of our fine and noble administrators who dole out hundreds of thousands of the tax papers' hard-earned dollars want to think heretical thoughts against Microsoft, aka digital catholocism (I'll never endanger my soul by speaking ill of Pope Gates, the infallible). Microsoft must be doing something right, even if it's ensuring that the rest of us do something wrong.

However, no chair is plush enough to allow me to sit with an appreciable degree of comfort during those policy meetings when big decisions are made that affect the entire student population--decisions, that is, that involve software and digital format standards, which are really the only decisions I can rouse myself up enough to care about. I lose, again and again, when I challenge my colleagues who insist that every student at USF must submit his or her work in Microsoft Word .doc format, and I lose, again and again, when my colleagues insist that Adobe .pdf is "the only way to go." By god, they're even now catchin' up and making it possible to put a sound file or even an animation in .pdf. Who knows, maybe one day they'll be gettin' around to putting script in that thar pdf.

Blackboard, well, it's the STANDARD, and by Jehovah, our university has adopted it, and I might learn my place--please shut up, Mr. Barton. My loudest snort of contempt is but the sneeze of a calico imp when I dare say "Nay" in the midst of these proceedings.

At first, I thought I was making some headway. I was arguing that several open-source software packages allowed students to save their documents in .doc format. I also pointed out that one of the benchmarks of a good word processing program was that it be compatible with a number of formats. I pointed out, with a great deal of righteous indignation, that we're hypocrites to say at one moment that English is not the only language in which fine literature is written, and the next to say that all good programs come from Microsoft. Indeed, my computer can speak many languages, some of which, like PHP, are not affixed to cash registers. Let the royalists speak the good King's English; as for me, I reckon the dialect of the good folk around me will suffice to say whatever humble little things I have to say. If the folks that made my word processor are meek enough to publish their efforts out in the open, for all to see and gawk at, then good for them. I'll take that hunk of meat with the flies over that piece the flies won't touch any day, and thank you for it.

Open source software asks for open minds. When these programmers expose their code; the least we can do is try not to act like a rabid fundamentalist at a nudist colony.

Now, no one is more appreciative of that great behemoth of an uberbyte we call WORD; in the beginning was the Word, and I'm pretty sure the Word was WITH Bill Gates from the very beginning. However, perhaps the time has come to just admit that there's really nothing all that fascinating or complex about a good word processor, and that maybe even some guys and gals could put one together in their spare time--and improve it pretty considerably with the help of a few thousand other programmers with some time, energy, and general love of humanity on their hands.