I was so relieved to read on the RIAA's website about their noble fight against censorship in this country. RIAA continues to fight hard on both federal and state levels to block well intentioned, but seriously misguided, efforts. How noble! How magnanimous! And here I was thinking the RIAA was nothing but a pack of revolting, money-sucking mobsters with one hand in the cookie jar and the other on a billy club. It's great to know that even the RIAA is willing to take time out from bribing senators and representatives and suing 12-year olds to do some pro-bono work for the good of the country.

RIAA is working with state legislators in all 50 states to ensure that the rights of artists are preserved for the enjoyment of everyone. Thank you, RIAA! Yes, it is very important that shock jocks and thugs have the right to say the f-word on nationally syndicated radio networks--and Janet Jackson ought to be able to bare her boobs anytime, anywhere she wants! And kids ought to be able to buy cigarettes and booze if they want! Freedom of speech is a must, especially when it's so profitable. Ka-ching!

State legislators in several parts of the country are attempting to prevent minors from purchasing sound recordings that carry the voluntary Parental Advisory warning label. Some proposals would impose stiff financial penalties and even jail time for a merchant or sales clerk who sells a labeled recording to a minor. In some states the minor is included and could be fined for attempting to purchase these recordings. These proposals turn the voluntary labeling program into the criteria for convicting someone of a crime and that is clearly unconstitutional. COUGH COUGH!! Oh, God, I'm choking here. The RIAA used the word "unconstitutional?" No, I must be dreaming. Somebody wake me up; I'm delirious! I was convinced that the RIAA was committed to banning the constitution! It's too bad the damn thing wasn't written today, then it could be copyrighted and carefully controlled for the benefit of the country. Imagine all those people who quote from the damn thing without paying the authors a cent. Ka-ching!

Usually, states determine the artistic value of a creative work. When laws allow much smaller communities, such as towns or counties, to implement their own standards, a threat exists that creative works will be denied to everyone because the narrowest view of creativity will prevail. So true! For example, the town of Germany is refusing to enforce American patents on software. What quaint, backwater, rural thinking! I know I'll sleep better tonight knowing that the RIAA is fighting those evil forces trying to foster the "narrowest view of creavitiy." Ka-ching!

On the federal level, in the past year, RIAA has been battling long and hard in the House and Senate against such restrictive initiatives as:
3. FTC investigation of entertainment industry marketing practices. GASP! Those dirty rotten scoundrels at the FTC! How DARE they investigate such obviously private affairs. Who the hell do they think they are? Only the RIAA should have the right to engage in restrictive iniatives, boys!

Artists have also lent their persuasive voice to this cause. Artists are extremely effective in educating both legislators and the public about the negative effects of censorship legislation. Oh, yes, especially Bono. What was that he said at the Golden Globe Awards?

I know it sounds like I'm contradicting myself here by writing a post in praise of the RIAA, but I am a man who is always willing to acknowledge when he's wrong. I was dead wrong about the RIAA. They are fighting the war on censorship that threatens the moral and artistic integrity of our culture. They are fighting for FREE SPEECH.